I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
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