I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
