The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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