her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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