I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
