I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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