haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
