I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize