Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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