I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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