apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
