do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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