they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
