im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
