I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
