Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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