i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
