I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
