So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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