Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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