yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize