Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My room smells like vodka and shame
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
