why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
