it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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