he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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