O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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