have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
