ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was confusing and full of hummus
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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