Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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