I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Buhtt sex?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I love having hate sex.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
