like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
