matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
