The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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