She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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