It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
