There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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