You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
