I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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