If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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