Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize