i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
