I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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