A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize