she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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