Moan for me like Helen Keller
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
