the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
