if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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