Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
