I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
