i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
