well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
