ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
