Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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