u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
