The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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