yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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