We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
