i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize