the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
